Antichrist (2009)

Genre: Thriller

Average Netflix Rating: 2.8 Stars

Synopsis: After their child dies, a therapist (Willem Dafoe) and his wife (Charlotte Gainsbourg) flee to their cabin in the woods, where they hope to mend their emotional wounds. But the grief-stricken couple watches their troubles multiply when very strange things begin to happen. Acclaimed Danish auteur Lars von Trier divides this tale into multiple narratives, revealing a surreal, horrific psychological adventure about the evils of nature, humanity and desire.

This is going to be short and easy. I NEVER want to watch 1 minute of this movie again. The opening scene sets up this crazy edgy beatiful movie. The opening act is pure geniius, from the music, to the black and white, to the emotional sucker punch it throws at you as you watch the death of this child - then act 2 starts... It's almost too boring to watch... I wanted to be invested in these people but I was annoyed at what a different direction the movie was taking, but I hung in there - and then act 3 started. Just thinking of what was put on film makes me want to perform a lobotomy on myself to forget - There were 2 scenes in the finale that were so visually scaring to me, just writing this is making me quiver. I can't even bring myself to type what they were. I can't even tell you how the movie really ended Bc I was so scarred by what I saw I mentally checked out. This is a horrible, disgusting, vile, unflinching, did I say vile? Piece of filth...

Where should you put it in you Q? At the top, so we can get all the copies from Netflix and BURN them...

LINK: http://movies.netflix.com/Movie/Antichrist/70117549

Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday The Thirteenth (2000)

Genre: Comedy (I guess)

Average Netflix Rating: 2.9 Stars

Synopsis: It's Friday the 13th in Bulemia Falls and -- due to the mayor's dyslexia -- it's Halloween night as well. To make matters worse, a masked slasher is stalking the teens of BF High. Because the murderer is wearing a costume stolen under his watch, mall cop Doughy (Tom Arnold) is determined to get to the bottom of the killings. With the help of a cable video jockey (Tiffani-Amber Thiessen), Doughy hunts the hunter in this goofy horror spoof.

By reviewing this movie, I'm admitting to choosing to watch this movie. But this is what I'm here for, to help you avoid my mistakes. I'll make this short and sweet - This movie is terrible. HORRIBLE! I'll admit there are some jokes that did make me laugh, but most of the others fail so miserably it's hard to believe anyone thought they were funny. Not even a hint of funny. There is even about 15 minutes of movie that is sooo unfunny that they added in "pop up video" facts to try to distract you from how bad what's actually happening is. STAY AWAY!

Where should you put it in your Q? Don't...

LINK:http://movies.netflix.com/Movie/Shriek-If-You-Know-What-I-Did-Last-Friday-the-13th/60020575